A few well-timed emails from people in response to my whining below made me realize the true source of all my synchronized miseries: I neglected to forward all those chain e-mails that I've gotten over the years. Non-believers, beware! But my unhappiness has already reached its end; My new computer shipped today. In honor of my parents' heritage, I think I will call it New Delly.
Oh, and have you ever started a 100-comment long thread on MetaFilter? Me neither.