Dear Mother Nature:
On most days, I strive to write about something that I think is thought-provoking or amusing, something of merit which will please the surprising number of people who see fit to visit my site. I like to think of my weblog as a "quality over quantity" sort of thing, the daily links notwithstanding.
But holy crap! It's been raining for like two weeks straight! And cold! What the hell, Mother? I am fixin' to whoop you something good if I don't see something resembling bright smiling sunshine within the next 48 hours. I am now officially a "posting about the weather" blogger thanks to you! Do you see what you've done to me? I was supposed to be a bastion of quality. I can't very well be an executive in the fast-moving weblog industry and have boo-hoo-it's-raining posts cluttering up my site, can I?
So I beseech you, oh bringer of torrents. Oh, pourer of waters upon my head. Oh, pisser upon my leg and tell me it is raining. Make it stop! Remember, in the words of that creepy orphan with no pupils, (who, you'll recall, was a resident of NYC.) "The sun'll come out tomorrow." Much as I hate musicals, it may be worth your while to follow up on the contract implicit in that particular promise.