From Hoopla, inappropriate fan mail to UPS:

The real secret of your greatness is this: No one ever sends bad news UPS. Your little hint of unreliability, private sector concerns, and loose time sensitivity insure that that unlike FedEx or the USMail, you’re not bringing me any bad news, just goodies. Presents, mail order stuff, but no awful stuff that would require the nearly infallible tracking system or Federally governed procedural regulations of your chief competitors.