Today is the first of what I hope to be several Embarrassing Confession Days here at dashes.com. What’s today’s Embarrassing Confession? I like date movies. Crappy, formulaic, sappy, predictable cheesy date movies. It’s taken me several years to come out about this, and really accept and acknowledge it, but it’s true.
It started years ago, when I would acknowledge films that were either minor in the genre of Date Movies, or that were only tangentially related. I would freely admit to liking "Chasing Amy" but that was okay because it was Kevin Smith and they don’t really end up happily ever after, and so that’s safe to like, right?
And a few years before that, I really enjoyed "Boomerang," but I made excuses… I mean, hell, this one has Halle Berry in it, and so it didn’t really count, right?
But I could no longer deny my inherent pathetically romantic nature as the years went by. (Brace yourself here…) Yes, You’ve Got Mail came out, and not only did I go to see it, in the theater, but I went willingly. And I enjoyed it. A movie about AOL.
So, by now, I knew there was a problem. This was the lowest of the low. One of the very lowest of the barrel-scraping formula films in a despicable genre. It had it all: Nora Ephron, Meg Ryan, mistaken identity, Manhattan… I could sink no lower. Was it only a matter of time until I hit rock bottom? What next, "Sleepless in Seattle"? Jerry Fucking Maguire?
So I knew I had a problem to face, and I dealt with it. I went to see "Gladiator" this year, and loved it. Yeah! But for every fight scene I saw, there was still a balancing romantic factor. I saw the very battle for my cinematic, aesthetic soul played out in "Crouching Tiger"… Here was fight scenes, intercut with incomprehensible, flashback-filled, soft-focus romance. Which side would I choose?
It’s times like this when I understand how people start to drink. I don’t know that I will ever reconcile the two sides of my nature, the dark and the light. You know, the whole Yin-Yang thing. One thing’s for certain, though. If I had a date, I’d want to see "Someone Like You". But not just because of Ashley Judd. It’s because Wolverine is in it. Honest.