You know, on December 11th, I almost posted an “all-clear” notice, that it had been three months and the rest of the world could go back to hating New York City again. But then I decided that perhaps my sense of humor is too dark and there was really no need for such negativity.
As it turns out, I needn’t have worried, the whining has returned. But fuck the playa haters anyway. We’ll kick all their asses. One of my favorite examples of why I love this town is the street signs; our street signs don’t mess around. Where a mere “No Parking” would suffice in a lesser city, ours say “Don’t Even Think About Parking Here”. “Quiet Please” becomes “Honk and You Will Be Fined $300”. I’ve seen stop signs in the outer boroughs that have “This Means You” appended to them.
But the other day I found the zenith of NYC signage. A simple appeal for park visitors to curb their dogs, filtered through the native penchant for attitude and an intrinsic elitism, yields a moral judgement on the competence and fitness of the human reading the sign:
I bet they don’t have those in Seattle, Adam. You got a problem with that?