I don't do the New

I don’t do the New Year’s Resolution thing, but if I did, I’d use Stan’s. Addendum: And he keeps it all the way real by breaking down white folk smell. We haven’t been meaning to keep it secret, but you know how it is…

Don’t get upset now, someday I’ll publish my screed on how I hate being next to some stank-like-curry polyester shirt-wearin’ subcontinental sumbitch on the subway and everybody lookin’ at me like, "Tell your brother right there he need a baa-ath. I ain’t talkin’ about ‘rinse that off in the shower’, I’m talkin’ about ‘scrub that nasty funk right off in the tub’."

All I can do is the little sideways step and shake my head, hoping they can hear me thinking, "He’s not with me, I don’t know the man. I’m all dressed GQ, I smell like Downy! I ain’t the one!"

Sigh. This world is full of those little cultural misunderstandings.