corporate doublespeak

I find corporate marketing mumbo-jumbo to be much more entertaining if you replace key phrases (like the company’s name) with the phrase “My Butt”. This can lead to such amusement as the following Actual Quote* from an internal email at a large company which I don’t work for, thankfully:

Broadband Services Organization is responsible for Cross-Functional
Lifecycle Management of Testimonial Quality of Service and Lifecycle
Profitability for My Butt’s High Speed Internet Services including Cable,
DSL and Satellite.

* Actual Quote did not, of course, include “My Butt”.