great emails in customer service history

Another in my occasional series of great emails sent to our customer service address at work:

From: [Name Redacted]
Sent: Thursday, November 07, 2002 2:18 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: why won’t you respond to my help request?

i signed up for [service] three days ago and have received NO (0) [service] yet.

worse, i emailed you a help request, and you didn’t even bother to respond.

a) please answer my questions

b) what the hell is your problem?

please respond to this message IMMEDIATELY